Starbucks has revamped its range of breakfasts. Maybe they do this all the time, or maybe this is something new. We're too busy drooling over the effect to worry about the cause.
We're thinking – you've just had a hellish journey in on Southern Rail. You have the sniffles. It's cold and you really haven't had chance to update your wardrobe to handle that.
There has to be something – something – worth living for. That thing might be your family, your cats, your love of autumn leaves or the wine collection you keep in the garage.
But we're guessing bacon sandwich is right up there. Which is why we've added an appropriate maxim so you feel less guilty about your food porn.
Hickory smoked bacon sandwich
The traditional bacon buttie has a new recipe. It includes bacon, which has been hand-cured for five days and then air dried for 14 days, before being smoked over hickory chips and served in an artisan roll.
This says: “Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, Or what's a heaven for?” (Robert Browning)
Reality: Price: £3.15; Calories: 348
Butcher’s Traditional Sausage Sandwich
The new sausage sandwich is created using a recipe developed exclusively for Starbucks. The sausages are made with a range of herbs and spices, high quality British pork and replicating the traditional method of hand-linking. It is served with a dollop of ketchup or brown sauce – don't get us started on that debate.
This says: “We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard." (John F Kennedy)
Reality: Price: £3.15; Calories: 443
Ultimate All Day Breakfast Sandwich
The All Day Breakfast sandwich has had a revamp. Served in a stone-baked rustic artisan roll, the sandwich is filled with traditional British pork sausages and slices of hand-cured bacon, air-dried for 14 days to give an authentic, smoky flavour and topped with free range British eggs.
This says: "What we truly and earnestly aspire to be, that in some sense we are. The mere aspiration, by changing the frame of mind, for the moment realises itself." (Anna Jameson)
Reality: Price: £3.45; Calories: 479
Mini Grilled Cheese & Ham Toastie
The popular Starbucks Cheese & Ham Toastie is now served in two bite-sized portions. It is with British Barber’s cheddar and wet-cured, salted ham, served on mini farmhouse loaves of bread.
This says: "With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts." (Eleanor Roosevelt)
Reality: Price: £2.25; Calories: 318
We are generally of the school of thought that fresh fruit before lunchtime is simply not on and that the human digestive system has not evolved to handle such goodness before three large Americanos but – *sigh* – we concede that some people think otherwise.
We do not understand those people. We fear those people.
“Fresh and Fruity” Fruit Salad
The traditional fruit salad pot now features fresh seasonal fruits for autumn such as plums, pears and blueberries.
This says: "Hope is the great deceiver. Hope is the piper who leads us to sleepy to our slaughter." (Brent Weeks)
Reality: Take Away: £2.49 / Eat In: £2.99; Cal 76
Cinnamon Spiced Apple Bircher
Starbucks has introduced an autumn inspired Bircher - creamy oats are topped with cinnamon-roasted seasonal fruits and a pumpkin seed compote.
This says: "Doom. You recognise doom easily. It's a feeling and a taste and it's black and it's very heavy."
Reality: Take Away: £1.99 / Eat In: £2.39; Calories: 175