It's not even noon when we unpack the little plastic tray containing half a dozen miniature Melton Mowbray pork pies.

Tesco's 65p-off promotion on its Finest brand offering has taken our fancy on the second day of British Pie Week, a shameless marketing gimmick by a ready-made pastry company .

But we're not in creative mode. Tuesday is the grunt day of the week. After the horror of Monday we need convenience. We also need value.

Look, look, an offer (we're powerless in the face of impulse-buy tickling promotions)

So, with thoughts of the old blue and white livery of the supermarket giant's budget range we head to the Canary Wharf DLR station.

There, with some difficulty (the pies are, as it turns our rightly with the ready meals), we discover the promise of pasty paradise.

But rather than going cheap, we're seduced by a price reduction, shelling out £2.50 for six little bites.

The first bite is bland, the meat an institutional grey.

But mine deep into the bedrock of this firm but yielding creation and your tongue may discover a rich, salty seam of jelly.

Wolfed down, the pie gifts its consumer with a fine peppery aftertaste and the addict's tickle.

A fifth of your recommended daily intake of fat, sat there staring at you

We want more, so many more and there are only five.

The only way to avoid a dependency is to disseminate the spoils of the foray to the malls rapidly among colleagues.

It's that or wind up slumped beneath one's desk, unconscious from the assault of 14.8g of fat (a fifth of your recommended daily intake) per pie.

We'll be heading to the gym later. Happy munching, if you can manage it.

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