Prepare for the pastry. British Pie Week runs from Monday, March 6-12 so it’s time to eat your fill and, obviously, the tasty casing.

Founded by ready-made pastry giant Jus-Rol, inhabitants of the marvellous isles that make up the United Kingdom are encouraged to spend the next seven days making, munching or purchasing the delicacies to the greater glory of, what exactly?

Let’s clear it up for you:

I haven’t heard of this British Pie Week before. Where have you been since 2007?

Goodness, that’s most of a decade when I could have been munching pies. Or buying, say, ready-to-roll pastry to make them at home?

You haven’t seen my kitchen have you? No, but you could invite me round for a home-made pie or even a quiche – all you need is some ready-to-roll pastry...

Hang on a minute are you suggesting this is some sort of cynical marketing exercise by BPW founder Jus-Rol? Not at all, but you have to admit their little blocks of the tasty stuff do make baking so very convenient.

Wait, are you on their payroll? Astonishingly not, but somehow we’re all still writing about it.

You mean The Independent , The Express , even The Chronicle? Yep, we're all at it I'm afraid.

These are also pies and perfectly acceptable (one may be a sausage roll so we're currently seeking clarification)

And you've been suckered in too? Ah yes, but The Wharf is planning to use it as inspiration.

How so? We're going to be recommending a pie-based treat every day for the duration.

For a whole seven days? That's the plan.

But I thought Square Pie shut up shop? Don't worry, there are plenty of pastry delicacies to get excited about (although most don't feature a comparable number of right angles).

So you won't be tricked into mentioning Jus-Rol's squares of pastry again and the fact their research reveals the astonishing fact 75% of us eat a pie once a month? I shall strike you impolitely with this rolling pin.

Do say: I'll stay tuned for places to get my pie fix in Canary Wharf.

Don't say: Wha is it exactl tha Jus-Rol hat abou th las letter of word?

This is not yet a pie, although may be converted at a future date. It should therefore should not be eaten during British Pie Week

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