Results tagged “Dan-Bourke”

Dan Bourke sees the sun squint over Shadwell once again

God be praised: the DLR is back.

Not that it was ever away of course, not really, it's just that it wasn't going to Bank for, like, the whole month, so it was of limited use to me.

Dan Bourke is in cinemas from Friday

There is, in Hollywood, a pretty well defined structure for what makes a perfect screenplay. It delineates, minute-by-minute, what should happen when.

Obviously, it displays an appallingly cynical attitude to art, and movies that I like can't possibly obey something so hideous.

Dan Bourke didn't lose his soul to that man in the long coat, so he's open to offers

I sold my soul to the devil once, in Alice Holt Forest near Bentley in Hampshire.

Me and my mate Findlay wanted unimaginable success for our band Mad Jack (or ROSEBAUM, or Filthy Mouths & Dirty Minds, or whatever we were called at the time), and also unimaginable success with unimaginably beautiful (and filthy) women.

Dan Bourke can't wipe away that night on the Green Bridge

I've got a new thing on my Mac called Time Machine. It takes me back.

I went to see the Clash in '77, the Stones in '66 and Elvis in '55. I got drunk in Soho with Dylan Thomas and in Bloomsbury with Virginia Woolf. I was there when John Wesley Powell sailed down the Colorado into the Grand Canyon and I drank fine wine as Rome fell.

For Dan Bourke, being back from work is a jagged little pill to swallow

Being off work was, like... Like, after the end of civilization, resurgent trees growing up through old motorways.

Being back in work is, like...Like going to see a film and, on leaving the cinema, finding out you still live in Canada Water.

Dan Bourke is making a few changes around here

This year my New Year Resolution is to save up enough money, by putting a bit away each month on payday, via internet banking, maybe even by direct debit, so that I can buy Canary Wharf.

And, listen up Wharfers, there are going to be some changes. Nothing too drastic, but changes nonetheless.

Dan Bourke's online viewing figures are up 500 per cent on last year

These are the headline figures for the 2009 report of me:

Books read is way up, camping and outdoor swimming are both way down, cigarettes smoked is at a record low and children fathered has never been higher.

Dan Bourke longs for green pastures - but doesn't want to share them with Tory Dave

Who doesn't want to give it all up and live in the country?

It's a pretty universal dream, I've always thought. And it's certainly been an often and over-stated theme of this column: work-based city life is to be got away from. The rustic is where it's at.

Dan Bourke will never get to shoot Dan Aykroyd

I have been experiencing strong jealousy, hatred, shame and regret. It's reunion time.

I can't think of this kind of thing without hearing Blister In The Sun by the Violent Femmes, from that reunion classic Grosse Point Blank. In fact, thanks to Grosse Point Blank, any 10-year-on get together is doomed to be disappointing.

When it comes to the best tube lines, Dan Bourke always bets on black

What's your favourite Tube line?

What line, when you find out you have to go on them, makes you think: oh good. Or rather, if you had to make a five-stop journey this afternoon, which line would you choose?

Dan Bourke's musical heroes are coming back from the dead

The passing of time, and all of its sickening crimes, is making me sad again. That, plagiarism fans, is a line by Morrissey, who I saw last week.

These days, Morrissey fans, the man himself is playing a Smiths song about every three numbers in his set. Up from the none, ever, which had been the avowed policy for most of his solo career.

Dan Bourke can't recognise the Englishmen on the tube to "Twickers"

What is it with England rugby fans?

I am English: a 50 per cent stake genetically but a working majority once you bring in schooling, accent, where I've always lived, who I support in the football etc.

I crawled the wrong way out of bed and started the day with a wine and then another. I spat it bit by bit into the glass and poured it into the bottle, then back that went to the fridge.

For food I wheeled some spaghetti out of my mouth then washed the sauce off in some boiling water and snapped it back together into its pack.

Dan Bourke is becoming one with the machines

This morning at breakfast I wanted an extra Weetabix in my bowl and rather than reach for the packet, my hand made a shape to apply the keyboard shortcut for Edit>Duplicate.

I think I have been spending too much time with my laptop.

Dan Bourke gets his tongue in a twist over plain speaking

Do you speak plain English or do you mangle your language like its been translated online?

Into Welsh, say, and then from Welsh in Danish, and then from Danish back into English?

Dan Bourke discovers the long-awaited cure for small-talk

You never see a cow getting on a train to cross an entire city to sit in a room with some other cows and push buttons and stare at screens.

Only humans would do such a thing, which rather calls into question the widespread assumption among people that we are the superior members of the animal kingdom.

Dan Bourke doesn't want any more pricey lattes

It is 490 weeks since I started working here.

Taking into account 54 weeks of holiday, and allowing for time working a four-day week, and about one sick day a year (honest), that means I have worked 1,953 days.

One thousand nine hundred and fifty three.

In search of a better life, Dan Bourke is prepared to give up all manner of things that he doesn't want

Ah, your DLR emerging from the Bank tunnel into southern Whitechapel's brief autumnal glory.

It's enough to turn a man's thoughts to moving to the country for early mornings and decaying foliage.

Dan Bourke spent his early days at college watching people get drunk and try to sound clever

I'd like to tell you that I always skived off the first week or two of uni because I was raging drunk or plotting violent revolution or both.

I did bunk off, but any cool points that gains me are nullified by my real reason: I did it to watch the party conferences. (I was often raging drunk too, but that's not why I stayed home.)

Dan Bourke - that big bloke from The Wharf - is going to get wet

I was sitting on the train staring out the window at the rain from which I had no coat to protect me.

Coatless, I saw the DLR carrying me was being rained on. I was late anyway and autumn was bringing rain to the East End, and there was me without a coat or even a jacket.