Results tagged “Dan-Bourke”

Concrete Pencil: Light relief

By John Hill on February 3, 2010 11:50 AM |

Dan Bourke sees the sun squint over Shadwell once again

DanBourke142.jpg

God be praised: the DLR is back.

Not that it was ever away of course, not really, it's just that it wasn't going to Bank for, like, the whole month, so it was of limited use to me.

Concrete Pencil: Breakfast at Tiffinbites

By John Hill on January 27, 2010 1:37 PM |

Dan Bourke is in cinemas from Friday

DanBourke142.jpg

There is, in Hollywood, a pretty well defined structure for what makes a perfect screenplay. It delineates, minute-by-minute, what should happen when.

Obviously, it displays an appallingly cynical attitude to art, and movies that I like can't possibly obey something so hideous.

Concrete Pencil: The Devil's Own

By John Hill on January 20, 2010 1:38 PM |

Dan Bourke didn't lose his soul to that man in the long coat, so he's open to offers

DanBourke142.jpg

I sold my soul to the devil once, in Alice Holt Forest near Bentley in Hampshire.

Me and my mate Findlay wanted unimaginable success for our band Mad Jack (or ROSEBAUM, or Filthy Mouths & Dirty Minds, or whatever we were called at the time), and also unimaginable success with unimaginably beautiful (and filthy) women.

Concrete Pencil: Clearing your head

By John Hill on January 13, 2010 11:30 AM |

Dan Bourke can't wipe away that night on the Green Bridge

DanBourke142.jpg

I've got a new thing on my Mac called Time Machine. It takes me back.

I went to see the Clash in '77, the Stones in '66 and Elvis in '55. I got drunk in Soho with Dylan Thomas and in Bloomsbury with Virginia Woolf. I was there when John Wesley Powell sailed down the Colorado into the Grand Canyon and I drank fine wine as Rome fell.

Concrete Pencil: It's like that...

By John Hill on January 6, 2010 1:36 PM |

For Dan Bourke, being back from work is a jagged little pill to swallow

DanBourke142.jpg

Being off work was, like... Like, after the end of civilization, resurgent trees growing up through old motorways.

Being back in work is, like...Like going to see a film and, on leaving the cinema, finding out you still live in Canada Water.

Concrete Pencil: If I ruled the Wharf

By Rob Virtue on December 23, 2009 10:40 AM |

Dan Bourke is making a few changes around here

DanBourke142.jpg

This year my New Year Resolution is to save up enough money, by putting a bit away each month on payday, via internet banking, maybe even by direct debit, so that I can buy Canary Wharf.

And, listen up Wharfers, there are going to be some changes. Nothing too drastic, but changes nonetheless.

Concrete Pencil: 2009 in stats

By John Hill on December 16, 2009 1:04 PM |

Dan Bourke's online viewing figures are up 500 per cent on last year

DanBourke142.jpg

These are the headline figures for the 2009 report of me:

Books read is way up, camping and outdoor swimming are both way down, cigarettes smoked is at a record low and children fathered has never been higher.

Concrete Pencil: Country-phile

By John Hill on December 9, 2009 11:04 AM |

Dan Bourke longs for green pastures - but doesn't want to share them with Tory Dave

DanBourke142.jpg

Who doesn't want to give it all up and live in the country?

It's a pretty universal dream, I've always thought. And it's certainly been an often and over-stated theme of this column: work-based city life is to be got away from. The rustic is where it's at.

Concrete Pencil: Reunion

By John Hill on December 3, 2009 11:04 AM |

Dan Bourke will never get to shoot Dan Aykroyd

DanBourke142.jpg

I have been experiencing strong jealousy, hatred, shame and regret. It's reunion time.

I can't think of this kind of thing without hearing Blister In The Sun by the Violent Femmes, from that reunion classic Grosse Point Blank. In fact, thanks to Grosse Point Blank, any 10-year-on get together is doomed to be disappointing.

Concrete Pencil: Fine lines

By John Hill on November 25, 2009 12:16 PM |

When it comes to the best tube lines, Dan Bourke always bets on black

DanBourke142.jpg

What's your favourite Tube line?

What line, when you find out you have to go on them, makes you think: oh good. Or rather, if you had to make a five-stop journey this afternoon, which line would you choose?

Concrete Pencil: Bigmouth Strikes Again

By John Hill on November 18, 2009 1:04 PM |

Dan Bourke's musical heroes are coming back from the dead

DanBourke142.jpg

The passing of time, and all of its sickening crimes, is making me sad again. That, plagiarism fans, is a line by Morrissey, who I saw last week.

These days, Morrissey fans, the man himself is playing a Smiths song about every three numbers in his set. Up from the none, ever, which had been the avowed policy for most of his solo career.

Concrete Pencil: Escape to Victory

By John Hill on November 11, 2009 2:37 PM |

Dan Bourke can't recognise the Englishmen on the tube to "Twickers"

DanBourke142.jpg

What is it with England rugby fans?

I am English: a 50 per cent stake genetically but a working majority once you bring in schooling, accent, where I've always lived, who I support in the football etc.

Concrete Pencil: Looking back

By John Hill on November 4, 2009 11:48 AM |

DanBourke142.jpg

I crawled the wrong way out of bed and started the day with a wine and then another. I spat it bit by bit into the glass and poured it into the bottle, then back that went to the fridge.

For food I wheeled some spaghetti out of my mouth then washed the sauce off in some boiling water and snapped it back together into its pack.

Concrete Pencil: Macnostics unite

By John Hill on October 28, 2009 2:27 PM |

Dan Bourke is becoming one with the machines

DanBourke142.jpg

This morning at breakfast I wanted an extra Weetabix in my bowl and rather than reach for the packet, my hand made a shape to apply the keyboard shortcut for Edit>Duplicate.

I think I have been spending too much time with my laptop.

Concrete Pencil: Translating the meaning

By Simon Hayes on October 21, 2009 12:24 PM |

DanBourke142.jpgDan Bourke gets his tongue in a twist over plain speaking

Do you speak plain English or do you mangle your language like its been translated online?

Into Welsh, say, and then from Welsh in Danish, and then from Danish back into English?

Concrete Pencil: Hi there. Now leave me alone

By John Hill on October 14, 2009 11:41 AM |

Dan Bourke discovers the long-awaited cure for small-talk

DanBourke142.jpg

You never see a cow getting on a train to cross an entire city to sit in a room with some other cows and push buttons and stare at screens.

Only humans would do such a thing, which rather calls into question the widespread assumption among people that we are the superior members of the animal kingdom.

Concrete Pencil: 1,953 Days Later

By John Hill on October 7, 2009 11:15 AM |

Dan Bourke doesn't want any more pricey lattes

DanBourke142.jpg

It is 490 weeks since I started working here.

Taking into account 54 weeks of holiday, and allowing for time working a four-day week, and about one sick day a year (honest), that means I have worked 1,953 days.

One thousand nine hundred and fifty three.

Concrete Pencil: Riding the rustic runway

By John Hill on September 30, 2009 11:18 AM |

In search of a better life, Dan Bourke is prepared to give up all manner of things that he doesn't want

DanBourke142.jpg

Ah, your DLR emerging from the Bank tunnel into southern Whitechapel's brief autumnal glory.

It's enough to turn a man's thoughts to moving to the country for early mornings and decaying foliage.

Concrete Pencil: It's party time

By John Hill on September 23, 2009 12:20 PM |

Dan Bourke spent his early days at college watching people get drunk and try to sound clever

DanBourke142.jpg

I'd like to tell you that I always skived off the first week or two of uni because I was raging drunk or plotting violent revolution or both.

I did bunk off, but any cool points that gains me are nullified by my real reason: I did it to watch the party conferences. (I was often raging drunk too, but that's not why I stayed home.)

Concrete Pencil: A grey day

By Rob Virtue on September 16, 2009 1:32 PM |

Dan Bourke - that big bloke from The Wharf - is going to get wet

DanBourke142.jpg

I was sitting on the train staring out the window at the rain from which I had no coat to protect me.

Coatless, I saw the DLR carrying me was being rained on. I was late anyway and autumn was bringing rain to the East End, and there was me without a coat or even a jacket.

A different perspective