This will probably turn out to be a rumour based on what Old Joe told the landlord at the Dog and Duck after several pints of Old Peculiar but here goes anyway.
West Ham are plotting a sensational move to snap up former England captain and unwanted Chelsea defender John Terry.
The controversial defender is not immune to the charms of the Irons, having spend four years in east London as a youth player. He could prove something of a marquee signing, sort of, to bring to the Olympic Stadium.
Aside from an inebriated Old Joe, the rumours appear to be based on a suggestion by former Hammers boss Harry Redknapp, now a pundit, who sees the merging of the two entities as a match made in heaven. Well, not heaven exactly but Barking and Dagenham where the lad Terry was born.
“West Ham would be a good move for West Ham and John,” said BT Sports sage Redknapp. “He played there as a schoolboy.”
The young John had been snapped up by the Irons from Sunday League side Senrab (Barnes backwards) but left for Chelsea while the dewy peach fur still adorned his chinny-chin-chin (14 in your Earth years).
The stumbling blocks are many and varied, including Terry’s avowed intent not to play for another Premier League club, the wooing of big money MLS and the possibility of a rapprochement between team captain and Stamford Bridge.
Then again, Old Joe was right about the 4.15 at Kempton that one time.
Meanwhile, in the real world, Andy Carroll has suffered yet another injury setback to add to his back catalogue of injury setbacks. He'll be out of contention for West Ham's FA Cup tie at Blackburn Rovers on Sunday (February 21).
Carroll's stand-in – Enner Valencia – is also ruled out for a match which, for many, holds the key to West Ham's season. It means that loanee Emmanuel Emenike will get a chance to improve his match fitness while Diafra Sakho is likely to make an appearance after three months out.
Manuel Lanzini is also expected to appear after his injury.