Dump the pound. The Old Lady of Threadneedle Street is clearly about to collect her pension (in euros). The UK is getting flushed down the currency U-bend.

No, the currency we should move to is the brick. Especially if you live in London. Not the bitcoin, not the buck but the brick.

A brick in a London property is worth £121.08, more than twice the national average of £47, according to research based on the size and location of homes.

The Centre for Economics and Business Research (Cebr) has calculated that your typical London brick could buy 5.5 Belfast bricks, the cheapest in the country at £22.09 a pop. And that doesn’t even account for the price variation with those sitting on a shelf in B&Q – worth around 89p.

An unseemly and ostentatious display of wealthy

The brick is 136 times more valuable and four times more valuable than the average brick in 2006.

Despite the uncertainty in the economy following the Brexit vote, Cebr – who produced the report for Barclays Mortgages predicts a brick in an average London home will be worth nearly £150 by 2020.

But Raheel Ahmed, head of Barclays Mortgages, had a note of caution for London brick hoarders: “It is interesting to see the regions and cities outside of London which are experiencing significant growth in house prices.

“While a North-South divide does remain – cities such as Sheffield, Nottingham and Leicester are experiencing strong growth, and this is forecast to continue through to 2020.”

TV property expert Sarah Beeny said: “This research should go some way in boosting the confidence of home owners around the country.”

Safe as houses? Houses as safes, more like.

Pros

  • Harder to pickpocket.
  • Can’t be the subject of cyber crime.
  • Doubles as artwork in your loft apartment.

Cons

  • Doesn’t fit in your wallet or purse.
  • Loses value the more you move from London.
  • It’s a brick, dummy.