Leading TV psychologist Paul Boross has offered his best advice for making the most out of your potential, and said everything comes down to confidence and communication.
Paul, who has appeared on television shows including Sky Sports series School of Hard Knocks , BBC Two’s Speed Up Slow Down and ITV’s Wannabe, told The Wharf: “It’s critical that everybody, whether they are a CEO, a board member, someone who works in a bank or whoever else, it’s essential that you understand the hold your psychology has over you.”
Paul often speaks and presents under the title of The Pitch Doctor and specialises in giving his clients the skills they need to present themselves well, build working relationships and act with confidence in order to succeed in the world of work.
And, for Paul, the argument of simply not being a naturally confident person is just not good enough.
He said: “There are two types of people in this world – those who get nervous and liars. It’s not about not getting nervous, it’s about how you manage it and how you manage yourself.
“Confidence is the most important thing of all. Whether you’re going for a job as a city trader or a van driver, people react to confidence in the same way. They buy into it.”
So, how can you become confident? Rather than fake it until you make it, Paul’s ideas are based around a person’s capacity to change through the way they communicate with themselves and others.
He said: “You have to understand that whatever you say to yourself becomes your reality. It has a huge effect on you.
“If you say ‘I get nervous every time’, you are priming your mind to be nervous. What if you use the past tense and say ‘I used to be nervous every time’? What if you say the word ‘excited’ instead of saying ‘nervous’?
“You need to consider what you are saying to yourself. What is that word in your head doing?”
He added: “A lot of people say ‘oh, it’s just the way I am’. They don’t think they have any influence over who they are, but from a psychological perspective you can change everything.
“If you continue to repeat the same things again and again, you will always get what you always got. If you don’t change yourself, you will remain within the same parameters forever.
“Who is in charge of what is inside your head? You are. You can change anything in your life, and I genuinely believe that.”
And once you have mastered how to communicate with yourself, the next step is to ensure that you are showing others your new found confidence.
Paul said: “You have to be congruent in your message and your communication. Is what you are saying backed up by the way you sound and the way you look? Are you showing that you know you are the right person for the job?
“You need to take control of your own message. If you do, you will have a much better chance.”
He added: “If you don’t believe you’re good enough to work in a tower in Canary Wharf then you won’t get the job.
“You have to have the right attitude and believe in yourself. Your belief system controls you. You have to take responsibility for that.”
Keep up to date with all our articles on Facebook