We are a nation divided . After a weekend of consorting with those of a like mind (and Big Gerry), the office awaits, full of people with whom you consort, spend time, share intimacies and personal space – but are never entirely sure about.
What happens if they voted different from you. Now, you’re walking down the corridor labelling people in a second – Remain, Remain, Leave, Leave – oh, God Andrea. *So* Leave.
But you want to talk about “it” over your crayfish and avocado sandwich. But, like your strawberry pot, once that is open there’s no putting it back.
1. Bring it out in the open
The first step to healthy conflict is to actually have the conflict. This isn’t about losing all self-control and laying waste to those that annoy you. But if an issue is serious enough, heading onto it face on.
2. More in common
Focus on the issues, not the person. If you get personal, then it is very hard to come back and collaborate. Believe that you have “More in Common” and find that thing and work to bring that common interest to life.
3. Be curious about what’s happening for them
The other person has a perspective, a history, a reason for their view and our job is to understand that. If we ask questions about why they feel as they feel, we have the foundations for understanding.
4. Be humble about what’s happening for us
We all have our triggers, the things that we react to that have nothing to do with the conversation at hand. What are your triggers that you bring to the conversation? Is it fair to the other person to react to those triggers even though it has nothing to do with them or the situation?
5. Show respect
When debating the issues, make sure that all of the opinions are aired – and heard. You are in a relationship so if someone is feeling something, the relationship is feeling that too. Listen to what is going on for both of you.
If all fails… shout louder.