There are so many life enhancing things to do in January. Are you doing Dryuary, where you give up alcohol?

Or Veganuary, where you give up animal products? Or Worduary, where you graft random terms onto the month and pretend it’s a thing?

Read more: Angela muses on how to have more fun at the urinal

LOLuary: where you give up circulating bad internet jokes.

Saduary: where you give up sex. Uberuary: where you give up taking public transport.

Arghuary: where you stop coming up with dodgy portmanteaux.

Resolutions are so 2015. Now we’re all about goals. Or #goals if you want to pretend you’re an Instagram star.

The online photo sharing platform is all over #inspiration. Committed to attend a spin class with a friend? You’ve got #SquadGoals.

There are pockets of social media where it’s permanently virtuous January. Forget resolutions about running 10k, you’re already months behind the fitness inspiration or #FitSpo crowd.

As keen of tricksy hashtags as they are smug post workout selfies, you can see them flexing muscles all over the internet.

While you were pulling dodgy dance moves at the Christmas party, they were posting videos of themselves doing the plank, a core strength exercise that requires very limited covering of Lycra.

While you were putting up photos of your advent calendar window, they were loading images of their prepped meals for the week – 14 Tupperware tubs with identikit chicken breasts, brown rice and veg.

Depressingly, an empty tin of Quality Street just doesn’t look as good as a svelte bikini shot whichever filter you use.

Smileuary, where you quit social media.

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