It’s Spring Fashion Weekend at Canary Wharf. I’m old school when it comes to fashion – I remember when there were two seasons.

Spring/summer and autumn/winter. Hot and cold. Easy.

Now there are four seasons, pre-season collections, cruise collections, resort collections... the list goes on.

What is it with all these new collections? Laura Larbalestier, Selfridges women’s designerwear buyer explained to Vogue in 2011 that cruise collections are “especially key for customers living in the UK as it fills that transitional period from January onwards where people are looking to update their wardrobes but aren’t ready to wear spring collections yet".

So it’s stuff we can wear when it’s still raining.

This made me think what other collections could we have to ease our wardrobe woes.

An Office Dresscode Collection. Everything could be tonal shades of black and navy, sexless, and self-airing when hung on the back of a swivel chair.

For those who like to keep their pay packet close to their chests the collection could include an underwear set made from pinstripe.

And what about an Awkwardly Bumping Into Colleagues On The Weekend Collection? Made from the same fabric they use on Tube seats, allowing you to completely camouflage yourself when Marjory from HR gets on the Circle Line.

I could go on forever – the Fake Sickie Day Collection (built in coughing noise box for when you speak to your boss); the Easyjet Flight Collection (lots of pockets); the One Night Stand Collection (reverses to look like a different outfit to avoid office gossip).

I’m onto a winner with this: I’m booking a slot at the next fashion weekend.

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