Advent has begun and it's now (completely) Christmas. Three things it’s legitimately OK to do now it’s December
1. Eat anything with stuffing in
The concept of stuffing baffles me. Why would you take a perfectly tasty turkey and push random things into it?
I’m dubious about any food that looks like it’s made by gathering whatever was in the back of the cupboard, and blending it. It is literally named after “stuff”.
Like calling something you eat “thingy”. Stuffing should be what goes inside cuddly toys.
If you’re unlucky the supposedly edible version tastes like that too. But, if you must, knock yourself out.
2. Open your Advent calendar
It’s time to crack open those cardboard doors, ignore whatever cutesy picture is behind it and push chocolate into your face. But only in December.
If you started doing this in July the world would tip off its axis, because we would all be overweight.
This year there’s a strong trend for alternative advent calendars with hair products, beer bottles, or jewellery behind the doors.
This is plainly absurd. No-one can top chocolate first thing in the morning. Don’t even try.
3. Listen to Christmas songs
Now is the officially sanctioned period during which shops, offices, DJs, and your mate can play Christmas tunes. You can even sing along.
December is the scientifically calculated sweet spot between recognition, singing the Fairytale Of New York while drunk, and punching someone in the face in Waitrose because Slade’s tipped you over the edge.
Use it wisely. Then don’t touch that playlist again till next December.
It’s OK, December is here. You’re allowed. Just make it quick.
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