Lee Hurst: A very British protest

By Rob Virtue on August 27, 2014 1:32 PM |

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by Lee Hurst

Ever been on a demonstration? It's a really bad day out.

We all shuffle around at an agreed location until we're led off, by a person who appears to suffer from Alzheimers shouting the same questions through a megaphone.

"What do we want?"

"When do we want it?"

We all then tell him/her what we want and when we want it, but sure enough this person asks the questions again and we're just too embarrassed or British to say: "Excuse me, but we did just tell you."

Eventually we all go home to find nothing has changed and we only merited a mention on the radio because of the traffic problems we caused.

Sometimes things do end up a bit rioty. To counter this Boris has bought some water cannon, but to make sure they'll scare the crusties they'll be used on he'll have to sling in some soap as well.

Other countries adopt more robust means of protesting. Buddhist Monks have often poured fuel over their heads and set themselves alight.

This has never really caught on in the UK partly due to the extortionate price of petrol.

In Britain we mostly stick with elections, but they don't work for everyone.

The Green Party would do a lot better in elections if their supporters put their votes in the ballot box rather than the recycle bin.

However elections are becoming less popular. The number of people voting is dwindling and politicians have floated the idea of lowering the voting age to bolster their mandate.

Why stop there? Go the other way. Allow votes for the dead? Or perhaps the un-dead? Votes for Zombies!

You could do it by a show of hands although this could be easily corrupted by zombies holding up some hands that were not their own.

I believe in democracy, but corruption in the political process is a major problem and, as we know, my own borough of Tower Hamlets hasn't covered itself in glory recently where, if you read the allegations, you'll find our elections have more rigging than a pirate ship.

Lee Hurst's Backyard Comedy Cub in Bethnal Green runs a regular diary of comedy events. On Saturday, September 6, Lee will be hosting an evening of entertainment. Go to backyardcomedyclub.co.uk for details.