Blonde's Eye View: Bankers are the talk of Edinburgh

By Rob Virtue on August 26, 2014 11:58 AM |



by Angela Clarke

I spent the last week at the Edinburgh Fringe Fringe Festival, but E14 was never far from my thoughts.

Not least because of the large number of jokes about bankers. Yes, the mascots of our pencil pot of glass towers are beloved across the land.

And, of course, when I say beloved I mean routinely ripped to shreds and the butt of every joke. Poor lambs, good thing they don't give a FTSE.

With just under 50,000 performers, the Edinburgh Fringe Festival is the largest arts festival in the world. Competition for audiences is tough, with artists forced to hawk themselves on the streets.

People dressed in ridiculous eye catching outfits try to charm you at every step; flyers are pushed into your hands like napkins at Pret. It's a fight for survival.

Poor ticket sales means not meeting the rental rates, not affording dinner, and definitely no change for a pint in a plastic cup.

Imagine if every day you had to go out and convince passers-by you were good enough at your job to get paid?

It got me thinking: this is how the bankers can persuade people they deserve their bonuses.

For a month a year bankers should take to the pedestrian walkways of the Wharf, and with quick quips, sales pitches, and brightly coloured flyers justify their pay.

Anyone who's ever been to Plateau and seen gaggles of identical men, ties artfully flung back over one shoulder, knows they've already got the comedy outfits down.

Those bankers that successfully win the crowd over will be given a round of applause and a tax break. It's a winning idea: we'll call it the Canary Wharf Cringe Festival. We'll get lanyards.

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