Working Mum: Guinea Pig Gate and the scandalous state of my life

By Giles Broadbent on June 26, 2014 12:11 PM |



By Tabitha Ronson

I have become embroiled in Guinea Pig Gate. A few weeks back Master A came home from school saying that a boy in his class had offered to give him a guinea pig.

According to Master A, the classmate had successfully bred a litter of six guinea pigs (not personally, of course) and, although he was selling them for £10 each, he was happy to give one to my boy free.

Not particularly wanting to have domesticated vermin in the house I tried to sidetrack Master A by saying that if we got a guinea pig he wouldn't be able to have a puppy. (For the record Master A is never going to get a puppy but he thinks he is! I know! I'm a horrible mum.)

Naturally, he immediately stopped talking about guinea pigs, moving on to Dachshunds instead. I was impressed by my diversionary tactics and felt certain we'd heard the end of guinea pigs.

On Tuesday morning, I received a text from the Guinea Pig boy's mum. It read: "Your son has informed W [her son] he would like a baby guinea pig. We have one beautiful long-haired boy left. Let me know if you would like it."

Busy with work, I didn't immediately reply. Then with most things in my life, I completely forgot about the text.

I was reminded when I received another message from the mum a couple of hours later: "Please is there any news on the guinea pig situation? I would be grateful for a courteous response either way."

Guinea Pig situation! I admit I was in the wrong for not replying but I hardly think my lack of response had caused a national crisis. This particular mum is another one who doesn't work, who has way too much time on her hands.

I texted back apologising for not replying sooner and declining the offer of the Guinea Pig. Ping! The reply was instant: "W will be very disappointed. In future, please ask your son not to ask for a Guinea Pig he has no intention of buying!"

Working Mum, just pinching myself to see if I am conscious, to see if I am really caught up in this Guinea Pig debacle.