Blonde's Eye View: Johnny Five and the suspicious package

By Rob Virtue on May 14, 2014 7:37 AM |



by Angela Clarke

Earlier this month Canary Wharf had a security alert over an unattended package.

I'm afraid I didn't treat the situation with the necessary reverence.

There's nothing amusing about the potential of a bomb, but I can't hear the words "suspicious package" without suffering an attack of the ill-timed giggles.

While Wharfers were herded behind incident tape, staying away from overlooking windows, and biting their nails, I was busy making silly jokes.

"Is that a suspicious package you have, or are you just pleased to see me?" "My my, what a big package!" "His package is questionable."

Sitting near me was like being stuck in the beginning of a 1970s porn film, minus a man with a big moustache who looks like Super Mario.

When the arrival of the bomb disposal robot was photographed and shared online I lost it completely. Perhaps it was hysteria brought on by nerves?

More likely it was because this hi-tech military machine looked like Number Five from 80s film Short Circuit. Or, for anyone under the age of 25, a more jazzy version of the robot with the dodgy Stephen Hawking voice.

By the time photos of bankers being held in the underground shopping mall appeared I was breathing into a brown paper bag. The photos are like a still from a very dull Apprentice task.

It was reported that a controlled explosion was carried out at Canary Wharf. Word on the street is it was someone's lunch. Whoever left their sandwiches behind I salute you: two slices of bread and a packet of crisps has never been so hilarious.

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