Blonde's Eye View: The merry (drunken) season

By Rob Virtue on December 10, 2013 7:35 PM |

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Angela Clarke explains the true meaning of the festive season

It's December. This exciting, and somewhat unexpected news (wait, what happened to November?) means it's time for my annual column that's little more than a thinly veiled ode to the love of my life: booze.

TV stars like things they can put up their nose, writers like things with a nose (wine, not people. Though we'll tolerate people if they come with a bottle).

This is my favourite time of year. You can legitimately down tools and hit the Christmas parties. Down keyboards, and then down the eggnog, if you like.

Everyone knows there's never any real work done during December. Hangovers are so incompatible with productivity, so why kid ourselves?

Ditch deadlines, forget filing reports, eject Excel. Work is so November 2013. It's time to embrace the ten-hour lubricated lunch, the office bash, the corporate ball.

December is like re-living your heady drunken student days, but in more expensive clothes and with a cab home. Abandon all hope of work, ye who enter here.

'Tis the season to be jolly, deck your boss, oh golly! Fa la la la la la la la laaaaaa! (Don't forget to post the photos online).

Now is the time to become your own Buzzfeed article: 25 Things You Shouldn't Have Done at the Office Christmas Party.

Twerking at your client? Skinny dipping in the Jubilee Park fountains? Streaking past Starbucks? Telling your deskmate what you really think about her incessant prattle regarding her forthcoming wedding?

You may as well really go for it; we'll need stories to keep us alive during the drab, dreary and detoxing month of January. When it comes to December, eat, drink and be merry,

Follow Angela on twitter:

@TheAngelaClarke

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