Blonde's Eye View: Record breaking year for skiving
Angela Clarke has got the boss over a benevolent barrel
It's been a record-breaking year for Canary Wharf. We've seen the longest conga line on ice recorded on the Canary Wharf ice rink, for Children In Need.
And, in aid of the Richard House Children's Hospice, the record for the largest gathering of people dressed as penguins in Wood Wharf.
I'd have liked to see a fusion record attempt, where the largest gathering of people dressed as penguins conga-ed on ice. All those onesies with soggy bums would have been hilarious.
What attracts these record attempts to Canary Wharf? Is it our abundance of charitable-minded people? There's a strong chance. Is it that our megawatt lit glass towers make a great backdrop? Quite possibly. Or is it that Wharfers will volunteer to do anything if it means they can skip work for a few hours? Now we're talking.
Really it's been a record-breaking year for skiving. Shirking work in the name of charity is a fool-proof plan: only a heartless Scrooge of a boss would object. And if they did, you could post a photo of you in your sponsored onesie, sadly holding up a sign describing your boss's abominable actions.
One Retweet or Like would equal one pound you'd donate to the deprived charity. It'd go viral. Far better the boss grit their teeth and take the philanthropic shafting.
We've got them over a benevolent barrel. Now's the time to plan excessive sponsored record-breaking attempts for 2014. Let's play smart. Largest group of people oversleeping. Largest gathering of people sipping G&Ts in the park.
Largest co-ordinated bunk-off work. 2014 is really shaping up to be stupendous. Merry Christmas, guys.
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