Blonde's Eye View: Back to school
Angela Clarke promises to be good this academic year
September is an odd time of year. Despite not having children, and it being well over a decade since I was in my teens, I can never quite shake that "back to school" feeling.
That wistful sensation associated with the end of summer and buying new pencil cases. I feel it in my bones. It activates my Big List Gland. (That's the same hormone that makes resolutions and bucket lists each January and on birthdays ending in zero).
Mentally I'm shopping for a blazer that I can grow into and covering my exercise books in old wallpaper.
I no longer have anything to do with the academic year (thank God), but it still feels like September is a new start. This year it will be different. This year I will make sure I don't lose the days in a s***-storm of long office hours and other people's weddings.
I will regain control of my diary and my life. I will finally do what I really want to do. And then I lie to myself.
I mean, what I really want to do is spend my time lounging on a tropical beach, drinking fresh coconut milk and discussing the way sand feels between my toes.
What I resolve to do is read more Russian classics, overhaul my work wardrobe and take French lessons.
Resolutions are inherently about bettering ourselves. The back to school feeling initiates grand ideas of education.
I will no longer waste my evenings watching people who've had dodgy teeth whitening treatments on reality TV shows.
I will no longer fritter the weekend away attached to a Sancerre and Malteser drip. I will improve. I will grow. This is the school of life and I will be a grade A boffin.
In reality, I'll see you round the back of the bike sheds for a sneaky fag during Maths.
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