Blonde's Eye View: How not to treat a lady
Angela Clarke is coming to get you if you don't return her calls, texts and emails
I hate it when you don't hear back from a man about meeting up.
I don't mean boyfriends, potential or otherwise, I have a husband. I control his diary. Easy.
Inconsiderate male mates bother me. You've both agreed it's time to catch up, a date has been suggested and nothing. No text, no email, no nothing. It's like they drop off the face of Planet Communication.
I'm not a patient person. I like to know what I'm doing more than a couple of hours beforehand. I like to plan. My calendar's booked up. I'm not popular, just anal.
My female friends play the game. They respond, book in dates, times and locations. They understand. Male mates drive me insane.
Boys don't appreciate that women need to know where they are going in advance. Well I do anyway.
Want to send me into apoplexies of panic? Give me 30 minutes' notice. I need to plan my outfit. Will there be somewhere to sit? Do I need walking, dancing or only transportable-in-taxi shoes? Will it be hot or cold? Should I bring a coat a cardi or a top usually reserved for the beach?
I still mourn the nights ruined by the lack of a cloakroom for the small suitcase I call my handbag. With adequate warning I could have packed light. It would have all been so different with a clutch.
My slack male mates with their casual approach to social plans are no match for my tenacity. I hunt them down. Bombard them with texts, emails, Facebook updates and tweets. I call their wives, girlfriends and secretaries. I am a woman possessed of a diary and I'm not afraid to use it.
Thank goodness I'm not waiting to hear back from potential shags, I'd sound every bunny-boiling alarm bell there is.
Follow Angela on twitter: @TheAngelaClarke