Concrete Pencil: Life is Tweet

Where's my hash, I mean the key not the dope lol innit!?

#There it is, you do it with alt+3 on my Mac, everyone's got a Mac haven't they PCs are for losers - had this argument before a lot, yesno?

That Tweetish paragraph was exactly 140 characters, the strange limit set on the limited burbles.

#Have yet to understand the bits in bold blue at the end of Tweets.
Now I see: they are links to other Tweets. #Click here to see what the Blonde's going on about this week. 

Problem for those like me in trade of printing words: does tweet take capital T, same as Googling takes a capital G?

T-shirt takes a capital T because the shirts look like a T not a t - t would be a polo neck T-shirt with tails.

Googling and Tweeting and Facebooking seem to totally override BBC rules on not mentioning trade names.

#Other social networking sites and search engines and short-sentence spreaders are available.

Standard of inadvertent plugging particularly bad on the otherwise most enjoyable Shaun W Keaveney show, 6Music breakfast. #Lets callers witter on about stuff they want to sell.

Twitter: I like it when girls called Carmel Unger ask to be my friend. #They follow many but few follow them.

Anyone seen the live tubemap at traintimes.org.uk? On overground sections on iPhone follow your progress, see if it works.

Was going to make Tubestrike joke but still living in hope it will be called off #Warning: this column was written in the past.

Watching tweetbeat (a Tweet aggregation) on the Fast setting is an oddly hypnotic way to find out World Cup information.

#Example. #TheFoxOswestry If you get bored of watching the World Cup then come on down to the fox tonight quiz night free entry and great prizes to be won.

Remember: This column was written so that "tonight" is not the tonight actually tonight, now, when you are reading this.

Not to say it's not a good night to go to The Fox in Oswestry, which gazetteer.co.uk tells me is in Shropshire.

Gazetteer.co.uk is a fine site but no substitute for the actual Collins Britain Atlas And Gazetteer, which national newspaper sub-editors use to find out what county towns or cities are in.

One can also play the Gazetteer game. The Gazetteer gives facts above and beyond the county of a town. Points for proximity to correct answer. What, for instance, will it say population of Oswestry is? #15,613.

Other Oswestry pubs, gazetteer websites, gazetteer books and columns are available.

-Dan Bourke's short story Wood Green is in the latest edition of Nutshell Magazine.