What We're Watching

REVIEW
According to scientists, the original Big Bang only took a tiny fraction of a second.

Since then, there's been about 14billion years of tinkering with the formation of the universe, from the orbit of planets to the colour of your armchair leather.

Sure, it's a long time, but we're talking about setting up the entire universe here. This is not like the evening you impatiently waited 25 minutes for your Bolognese to arrive. This is complicated stuff, and sometimes things take long time to sort out.

Things like the plot of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, apparently. The blockbuster sequel clocks in at just shy of 150 minutes, which is an awfully long time for a film which is essentially about robots hitting each other. Even if some of it is in slow motion.

Shia LeBeouf is among the returning cast for Round Two of the clash between Autobots and Decepticons, now featuring an even bigger evil with a lust for Armageddon.

The CGI is again shiny, but the movie somehow manages to bloat a premise that can be resolved in thirteen words.

Evil robot threatens earth. Good robots fight. Megan Fox bends over a motorcycle.

Even if you draped Fox over every motor in the showroom, you should be able to polish that off with change from an hour.