On Two Wheels Part 5: The great confusion

Obviously the simple ones still apply for two-wheelers - park on a double-yellow and you deserve everything you get.

But other than that, London seems to have largely written scooters and motorbikes out of the equation.

Try it next time you park your car - try to spot the sign that says park your scooter here.

And to make things worse, every London borough can vary the rules as they see fit.

While this is also true for parking regulations relating to cars, authorities simply do not seem to make the effort to tell anyone what they've done about motorbikes and scooters.

Look at it this way - I ride through four boroughs to get to work, Haringey, Hackney, the City and Tower Hamlets. Suppose I get hungry on the way and decide to stop at a greasy spoon for an unhealthy roll stuffed full of egg and bacon.

How do I find out where I can leave my bike?

I have yet to see a helpful sign on the street so I thought I'd get online and try to find out.

I clicked through to the parking section on the Haringey Council website, but despite reading all the information on there in detail I was unable to see any reference whatsoever to scooters or motorcycles.

There was plenty about cars and bicycles, but that was it. So I rang the press office and received this: "Motorcycles and mopeds may park free of charge in residential, shared-use, and pay-and-display bays.

"They must park at one end of the bay, in a manner that would not prevent other users from parking in that bay. We do not have dedicated motorcycle parking bays."

So the infomation is there, but only if you request it. I'm pleased to say the other authorities fared a little better - Hackney has similar rules to Haringey, but Tower Hamlets and the City do not.

Both, according to their websites, only allow motorbikes and scooters to park, albeit for free, in dedicated bays on the street or in council-run car parks in the case of the City.

So in other words, while it's fine for me to pull up outside a greasy spoon in Haringey or Hackney, I have to spend time hunting for a special bay in the City or Tower Hamlets. Somewhat irritating.

And to add to the confusion, I stopped a traffic warden (or civil enforcement officer to give them their proper title) and asked him whether I was allowed to park my scooter in a pay-and-display bay on busy Green Lanes.

If you believe the website I am. If you believe the warden: "No mate, not on a Saturday."
Basically, if you go for life on two wheels, get used to being treated like a second-class citizen in the eyes of the parking authorities.

It costs £2 to park for a day on the Wharf in one of the many car parks. In my book that's not bad, but then I'm used to paying outrageous amounts of cash to stop my car on a public road.

However, here again is a special system. You don't take a ticket from the machine as you go in - a simple automated service. No, you have to find an attendant and purchase a plastic tag to fix to your bike after you've ridden round the barrier.

That's fine, except the other day there was no attendant so I had to put a call through to security to get them to find one for me - unnecessary hanging around.

I'm unclear why there isn't a simple vending machine built onto the end of the parking ticket machines. Perhaps the constant interactions with two-wheelers helps stifle the boredom of the car park employees.

Maybe the councils and organisations know how enjoyable riding is and simply feel the need to mute it slightly.

- Column in association with Vespa. Go to uk.vespa.com