Spiral Notebook: Lists # 3
Things I'm not afraid of right now but probably will be at the appropriate time
(formerly known as UKTV Drugs)
8pm: Top Gear: Clarkson, Hammond and May test drive the latest turbo-driven steroids.
9pm: Rosemary & Thyme: Felicity Kendal and Pam Ferris tear through formal gardens in search of a legal high. This week: Vita Sackville West's Sissinghurst Castle Garden.
10pm: Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares. Divvying up the stash, the foul-mouthed Scot sneezes and the candy goes everywhere.
11pm: Cash In The Attic. Ex-tennis star Pat Cash sees out a bad trip hiding from the bad men in the loft.
Things I thought would be cute but turned out to be really annoying
Your piccolo practice.
Your familiarity with property law.
Things I thought would be annoying but turned out to be really cute
Proverbs and Sayings
Advice offered by Health and Safety Executive
- A rolling stone gathers no moss.
(Wear steel-capped boots in all vertiginous quarry situations.)
- A watched pot never boils.
(However, tepid tea leaves no scars.)
- Laughter is the best medicine.
(Medicine is the best medicine.)
- Trust not a horse's heel nor a dog's tooth.
(Avoid all roadside hot dog stands unless officially licensed by an appropriate authority.)
- Tall oaks grow from little acorns.
(Stand well clear and contact designated Risk Manager.)
The Beatles if Harriet Harman ruled the world
Just So stories, Rudyard Kipling never published
- How the cat developed a chip on its shoulder and plotted revenge.
- How the polar bear evolved a prosperous image rights consultancy.
- How the three-toed sloth grew weary of the constant derogatory comments about its application to the task in hand.
Things worth seizing
The means of production.
The remote control.