What kind of a man can't maintain his list's integrity

And like any self-respecting Wharfer, I’m about six weeks behind on anything I’m supposed to do.

Housework. A course I’m doing. Exercise. Christmas shopping. It makes for a busy list.
Which is why I’m so extraordinarily pleased with myself.

First: the notebook. I’ve finally found The One. Hardcover, reporter-pad size. Ninety pages. Graph paper: little squares. Perfect for ticks and crosses.

Sadly I bought it on my honeymoon in Argentina. (The covers are cowhide, which I also feel quite bad about). And I only have three of them.

So if anyone’s going to Argentina, can you go to Calma Chicha in Palermo Viejo? I’ll give you some money.

I have a language of list symbols, which I’m always working on, always adding to.

> means new group of things to do, presents for different people for example, or Swim 1, 2 and 3.
A tick means done. |--> means “a lot done, a lot left to do�.

Down the left-hand side is all the things that want to be done. Down the right these are divided across the days I have to complete the tasks.

Like always, I am a bit behind. Monday has three ticks, one cross, and one where I’ve just ignored it.

Tuesday has two ticks, which is all it needed. But I’m storing up problems for later in the week. By the time you read this, who knows what will be going wrong.

I’m quite disciplined. It used to be that I would knowingly write several items on my list that I had already dealt with, and then immediately tick them off or cross them through, whichever was the coding at the time.

But I won’t do that any more. If you can’t maintain the integrity of your own list, what kind of man are you? These are serious times.

I keep it with me at all times, in case I get a chance to get something done.

I took it when I went swimming (tick) and to the shops (tick) yesterday, and bought some of the things I’m going to get my wife for Crimbo (|-->).

I’m not pretending this is normal behaviour. And I know it is far more likely the the sign of some worrying pathology.

Of course, others take their pleasures from more obvious, physical sources.

The beauty of art. The joy of physical contact with loved ones. Heavy drinking.

But I suppose this compulsive listing is one of those few problems that it’s good to have.

It speaks of the restless need to classify and quantify that helps to order things in a chaotic world.

And where’s the harm in giving yourself a harmless little reward for doing something you had to do anyway.
Concrete Pencil: tick.

n For similar burbles, see blogs.mirror.co.uk/opposite-of-work.