Screen: Reviews

ANIMATION
Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (PG)
3/5

For the 10th year in a row, my dad will probably receive 40 boxes of Turkish Delight for Christmas.

We’re pretty sure he doesn't mind, although we're getting suspicious that he never seems to eat them at any other time of the year.

Thing is, he made the mistake of asking for them once, and now that's the first thing that pops into everyone’s head once the brain-numbing panic of festive gift-buying sets in.

The same principle works in the world of animated sequels. Back when Ice Age 2 was being made,
someone probably mentioned that the nut-loving squirrel thing was pretty funny, so the movie-going public got shot after shot of the blinkin' thing.

So who wants to own up to being the person that shouted “MORE PENGUINS" when the sequel to Madagascar was in the works?

If it's you, it's time for that parade you keep putting off for a special occasion: they're getting a bigger role as the zoo animals with all-star voices continue their adventures in the wild.

The 2005 original was merely adequate, despite star names such as Ben Stiller, Jada Pinkett-Smith, Chris Rock and David Schwimmer being involved.

But while the sequel still doesn't provide the goods we expect from animation such as Toy Story and The Lion King, it's better than the original in almost every way.

Despite the confusing title, this film sees the animals plotting their return to New York in a plane piloted by penguins. This approach almost never works in real life, and predictably they find themselves in the savannah instead.

With bigger roles for original stand-outs such as Sacha Baron-Cohen, it's hardly an incredible journey, but at least it's quite funny.

SCI-FI
The Mutant Chronicles (18)
2/5

There are two ways to make a sci-fi adventure.

You could either think of a really interesting moral or ethical dilemma and transpose it to an alien time or place, making a very interesting point in the process.

Or you could just head down to the video shop and nick about three ideas out of as many films as you can fit into an evening.

Just like this summer’s Scottish plague romp Doomsday, The Mutant Chronicles suffers from trying to plonk too many old clichés into the pot, and not really seasoning the broth with any of its own.

Blade Runner’s in there, obviously. But you can also taste The Chronicles of Riddick, some sort of strange crusadey flavour, a hint of World War II and a bit of fantasy video-gamey salt in each bite.

This leaves the plot a little thin and the characters thinner still, so it’s odd that this long-awaited project has attracted such a stellar cast.

There’s Ron Perlman, who’s been in other tinted industrial fantasies such as The City of Lost Children. There’s John Malkovich, who’s hammier than a festival of ham in Hamburg. There’s Punisher star Thomas Jane, Sin City’s Devon Aoki, and the always entertaining Dog Soldiers yeller Sean Pertwee.

This is more star power than the film deserves, and it may have done it more harm than good. Sticking this much talent in a DVD shelf-filler puts its head above the trenches, and it isn’t good enough to survive the hail of critical bullets that will inevitably come its way.

ACTION
Transporter 3 (15)
2/5

Sometimes there are movies that are just so stupid that they can’t help but attract an audience.

Critics hate them, of course, but they’re just fusty and out of touch.

Who wants to take advice from people who sit in and drone about the Eastern European film industry when you just want to see someone get hit with a car?

So while “film experts� continue to try and awaken the masses to fine cinema like desperate, pompous missionaries, The Fast And The Furious and The Transporter will continue to make money.

Jason Statham may be typecast as a gruff Laaaandan lad in every single movie, but he’s still getting work. And his high-octane “package-delivery� Transporter saga has made it to chapter three, despite critic-baiting set pieces such as the moment in the first movie where he bats away a missile with a tea tray.

This new plot involves lots of beatings, a hatful of car chases, loadsa muscles and several things blowing up. And although it’s a bit longer and weaker than the last two movies, that’s precisely what fans of the series like.

It’s not a boring film, but a lot of people will be trying to tear out their brains and stamp on them before the first half hour is out. Don’t worry, though. You won’t be able to hear that over the explosions.