Apologies to a hairdresser

However we came very close to falling out on Saturday during a routine trim, over a hair-thickening compound that apparently contains enzymes.

Now, I have been a girl long enough to know how the beauty industry works. Basically women like to be lied to and insulted and to pay for the pleasure.

We are all very used to being told our pores really are too big, our cuticles are torn and our hair is thin.

For the most part I accept this as part of modern life. But I really, really struggle to tolerate pseudoscience being flung in our faces to market products.

There was a period of about two years where I was too outraged to speak over Jennifer Aniston’s “Here’s the science bit – concentrate.�

No, Jennifer, you concentrate. When you have a BSc you may tell me to concentrate but, in the mean time, I suggest you go and eat something.

But I digress. The thickening compound was being applied to my roots and apparently the enzymes in it allowed it permeate my hair.

I didn’t like the sound of that and said so. How were they going to permeate my hair?

Was this compound going to catalyse a reaction in my hairdo? Surely the best way to thicken hair is to coat it in a layer of gunk?

My hairdresser tolerates my ways because I tip well.

But I think denouncing her enzyme claims as utter balls might have been pushing her too far.

I shall try to keep quiet in future.