Blonde's eye view

By John Hill on May 15, 2008 8:59 AM |

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Blonde's Eye View - Gladiator Cherry Green battles public nudity

The recent return of Gladiators to our televisions has caused me to revise my ambitions and expectations. I now know what I want to be when I grow up.

As a result I have joined a gym. We will gloss over the joining the gym experience and the dead-eyed manatee who I had to get past first. It was like getting past the sphinx, in a version of the legend where the sphinx is on its mobile and doesn’t want to have to get up and get the direct debit form.

Now, it is a while since I have been a member of a gym, but I seem to recall that back then I had youth on my side and generally had one of the better bodies in the changing rooms.

As a consequence I would happily bounce around naked. This is no longer the case, so I feel justified in laying into the women who bounce around naked in the changing rooms.

Attention fellow women: The shower at the gym is not your shower at home. You are still in public. It is absolutely not OK to strip naked just because there aren’t any men about. If you wouldn’t show me your bits in the street, don’t do it at the gym.

Here is an exhaustive list of all the people who should ever get to see your personal, private ladybits:

* Your Mum when you’re little
* Your doctor
* Your lover
* If you have children, I suppose they will have to see them once each on the way out.

That is all.

Let’s hope everyone has paid attention so that I can do my training without having anyone waving their bum in my face.

This frees up my brain for getting on with the tough task of choosing my Gladiator name.