Blonde's eye view

By John Hill on May 1, 2008 8:59 AM |

Tagged with:

Blonde's Eye View - This week, Cherry Green is a wolf in sheep's clothing

It hasn’t been a very good week.

Not only has my mortgage offer been withdrawn causing me to become a staunch anti-capitalist, but I am pulling out of the second marathon with in six months because of a nasty hamstring injury.

So in the face of disaster, and months of time and effort going down the pan, I headed for Oxford Street to drown my sorrow in the shallow waters of retail therapy.

Not much time had passed before I remembered why I rarely go shopping. Firstly, because I am not built for clothes. I have hips and boobs you see, and it seems that anyone with even the most vestigial secondary sexual characteristics has to wear a tent. Why do high street shops aim all their clothes at teenagers? Since when did they have any spending power?

Secondly, the problem I have with shopping is the other shoppers. When I was young, I was bitten by a misanthrope, and now, once a month, I turn into one. Every time I have been shopping in London I have found it populated with people who move at unfeasibly slow speeds, and have no manners. I’m generally mild-mannered, but once two people have barged past me, I’m waiting for the third to do it so I can rip off their head and spit down their neck.

Needless to say a few hours of retail therapy left me angrier than when I started. I think I should remember this for the future. Perhaps an anger management session would be more suitable.