Blonde's eye view

By John Hill on March 27, 2008 8:59 AM |

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Blonde's Eye View - Cherry Green's consumer report on test-driving younger men

A newly single colleague at work asked me my opinions on toy boys recently.

Now, my opinions are frequently legion, while not necessarily well thought out, but this was a matter I felt able to comment on.

While I rush to point out that I am not that old, I have, however, been tempted by young flesh in the past and therefore consider myself qualified to write a Toy Boy User Guide.

Things to note when dating younger men:

1) Stamina is one thing, but in my experience men don’t receive the full blueprints to the female body until they are about 35.

2) No matter how much you want them to shut up and look pretty, it is unlikely that they will.

3) Depending on how young you go, you might feel the need for some grown-up company before too long. In my opinion toy boys are best on a Use Once And Discard basis.

4) If you introduce your toy boy to your friends, they will (rightly) think you are having some kind of midlife crisis (which means I will only live to 58 – but, darn it, I want a sports car now!)

5) Bear in mind that although you may well be dealing with an uninhibited young man who enjoys the company of an older woman, it is just as likely that he will be an emotionally sub-normal, needy, whiny, insecure little boy with the sensitivity of a bull whip. At least mine was.

6) There are only so many times you can explain the situation in Israel before you lose your temper and shout “just watch the news, will you!”

However, there is a serious upside to dating younger men and that is that they are very easy to ditch – see my Toy Boy Disposal Guide:

1) Stop calling.