Concrete pencil

So I’ll hold open a door and if they don’t say thanks, I’ll shout, “Well, f*** you very much”. Which is, let’s face it, disproportionate. And a little mental.
It’s hard. Manners fail people in very busy places, which is where you need them the most – where anger is closest. The Underground being the ultimate example.
People don’t move down inside the carriage and they hit you with their pointy briefcases. And they try to get on while you’re getting off.
What is a measured response to this most appalling sin? I once saw a brilliant one: a large man simply put his hand in the chest of the inconsiderate alighter and shoved him back off the train. I could have cheered.
I haven’t got the bottle for that of course. Can’t stand a confrontation. I was brought up to apologise to anyone who had wronged me. Sorry, sorry. My reaction is pathetic in comparison, and passive aggressive in the extreme. I mutter, increasingly loudly as I walk off down the platform. I mutter anger: “Uck’s sake, mate, s’pposed let us OFF before YOU GET ON YOU PuuuuuRICK.”
This helps no one. After it, I’m still angry, they probably haven’t heard and, if they did it because they didn’t know you’re not
supposed to, they still don’t know.
There’s an excellent Peep Show where Mark takes Sophie to the cinema and some young lads in front of them are talking.
You hear inside his head as he agonises over whether or not to say anything. He gets increasingly angry at the situation and at his inability to deal with it until it all boils up and he punches one of them in the back of the head. Not having the capability for civilised complaint, he eventually reacts too late and too much.
Which is why (it has taken a while to get to this) it’s a great thing that the Jubilee line has had those yellow politeness lines painted by the doors.