Blonde's eye view

By Tom Derbyshire on February 20, 2008 4:04 PM |

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Can anyone tell me what happened to winter?

Possibly the same thing that happened to summer. Last year spring went straight into autumn, with a brief monsoon period in the middle. Now it seems we’ve just gone from autumn to spring. If this is global warming then we need to put a stop to it, because it is losing us the best seasons.

I love winter, you see. I especially love snow. There is nothing lovelier than sitting indoors on a cold day watching snow fall and knowing full well that you were perfectly justified in not going to work because the
capital grinds to a halt at the merest hint of frozen water.

Clearly, I have sat in with the heating on too much and climate change is now denying me the basic human right of making snowmen.

Don’t get me wrong – it has been a bit chilly, but as winters go it has been a bit of a damp squib. What happened to the real winters I remember from my childhood? Where did they go?

Every morning crisp and beautiful and every night carrying the threat of a flash blizzard. Pavements dangerous and glistening because some small horde of rascals had made an ice slide on their frozen way to school. The skies were majestically dark with overladen clouds. And all this has gone because I used a few aerosols and my fridge broke?

We have a decent level of technology these days, so can’t they make real seasons come back? Or maybe we could steal a few days from Sweden every year.

I might invent an aerosol that sucks and starts reversing this travesty.